``SO HERE I COME TO YOU...

[dahliaanderson]

So now I come to you
WITH OPEN ARMS
nothing to hide
BELIEVE WHAT I SAY

Anxiety washed through Dahlia like a wave. She was deathly worried about Jason. It had been an entire weekend and she’d done everything she could to get a hold on him. She’d texted, she’d e-mailed him, she’d called him who knows how many times. She was really worried about him-he’d never done that before. Whenever he would miss her call, he would always find the time to get in contact with her one way or another. But here he was…completely ignoring her. It wasn’t like him, and it made her very worried. Worried to the point that she was really thinking of the worst that could possibly happen, and that turned her worry to fear as it started to settle in her gut.

Finally she couldn’t just sit there anymore. She had to do something about it, somehow figure out what could possibly be making him like this. Almost running to her small closet, she found one of her favorite outfits and threw it on. She didn’t really worry about her make-up or anything, this was Jason we were talking about. Sliding on the long-sleeved shirt she smiled a little bit at the comforting texture. He had been her best friend for a long time. Pulling a brush through her long, red wavy hair she left it down as she half-ran through her door with a little bit of grace with her long legs. She smiled at the counter man and signed out, since she lived in the dorm she had to.

Going to her car, she unlocked it and slid in to the comfortable gentle seats. For some reason, she always felt a little more peaceful in this car. The soft faux leather seats, the smell of her favorite perfume and faintly of mint around her. It was strange how she didn’t really mind any of the fact that her mom had drove it a long time ago, but maybe that was yet another reason that she liked it so well. Driving, she made sure she was careful though she was still very worried about Jason. It was just so wrong and not him to do that kind of thing, and for him to suddenly do that really made her scared.

Jason was such a sweet guy, such a kind and generous guy. The man that she loved. Day sighed, it was really hard to know that the person you loved would never love you back. With his soft curls, his tall, muscular body, he was definitely someone she would love to wake up to in the morning. Not to mention how much he cared about everyone and every thing. The sweetness of his heart was something she could never not say was not there. The memory of his exuberant smile, of his lips against her made her softly smile. Of course it would only ever be a memory, a dream that she had only had for a very small time. The time that she wanted so much, a time where she wished she could live forever. Dahlia was really happy for Jason, with him finding his true love in Anabel. Day knew she was way more than lucky, and she would forever envy her. Ana was the one who would be able to wake up and see his precious face next to her own. Ana was the one that would get to hold him when he needed it, when he needed her to listen and understand. She was so lucky, for she had all that Dahlia would ever want.

She parked in his driveway, and seeing his car made her know that he was home. Day sat in the car for a moment, gazing at the large house and not really knowing what to do. Finally she just made the decision to go right on up and knock on the door, and she knew that no matter what she was going to talk to him, to find out what could possibly be wrong with him. Because there was nothing worse than feeling like you best friend, you love, had something wrong with them. That they were hurt or something worse. It was like a nightmare come true and stare you right in the face. Cutting the quiet engine, she bit her lip and got out. She walked up the pathway slowly, honestly scared on what would be there to greet her. Finally making it to the door, she stared at it for a while before raising her hand and knocking. She swallowed as she lowered it, keeping it to a tense fist at her side. It was only from fear that made her be cautious, and not at all from Jason. He was one of those rare creatures that would never hurt anyone, or at least not on purpose. He was a sweet person, and for him to be like this…it sent chills to her heart.

After a minute, Day got only more worried. He still hadn’t answered. She knocked again, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion. It didn’t make any sense. Still know answer though. Finally, she got a tad agitated. Raising her voice, she peeked through the window and exclaimed, “Jason! I know you’re there, so open up! You can’t hide forever!” Not that she knew exactly what he was hiding from, or it he was hiding at all, but she couldn’t think much of anything else. Her head went to the side, a bothered and confused look on her face. There wasn’t a reason that he would be ignoring her-she knew that she hadn’t done anything…or at least she didn’t think so. Finally, her patience and her worry couldn’t wait any more. She wasn’t a dumb person-she knew that he would put a spare key somewhere.

She groped under the welcome mat. Nope. Looking in all the plants, a exultant smile spread across her face, and she stuck it in the lock. Her head swiveled around, searching for any trace of her best friend. Sure, she was breaking an entry, but it wasn’t like it was illegal to be worried about your best friend that was acting really peculiar. Taking off her shoes, she went around a fast look around the bottom floor. Seeing that he wasn’t there, she bit her lip and looked up the stairs. It was kind of creepy on how quiet it all was, but it only added to her fear. Finally rounding the corner to where his bedroom was, she opened the door to see a human figure that really did not look like her best friend. “Jason?” It came out like a stifled gasp as Dahlia stared in shock at what was supposed to be her best friend.

[/size]
----

[font=georgiaso here I am
WITH OPEN ARMS
hoping you'll see
WHAT YOUR LOVE MEANS TO ME

[/font][/center]

OOC;
Status; Done
Words; one one four nine
Clothes; here!
Comments; not bad! =]

[jason andrew irving]

once you love somebody
t h e r e ' s n o t u r n i n g b a c k
it can burn forever, it can haunt you, haunt you in the night

Grumbling as he heard a tentative knocking on his door, he threw his Coca Cola pillow over his head, trying to drown it out. He hated that his heart rose ever so slightly, half hoping it would be Ana, but he knew that was highly unlikely. Even if it was, she would know where to find his house key and the code to get into his garage. Not that she’d just come in anymore. Sighing as he heard the knocking again, he kicked the polka dotted blanket off of his body and threw it on the ground, glaring at it coldly like it was the blanket’s fault he was hurting. Still irritated, his crazy pillow followed it to the ground a moment later, a soft flump coming from it when it hit the ground. He could hear Dahlia’s voice and knew she was right, but how she knew he was hiding, he wasn’t sure. No, he hadn’t answered her calls or her texts. He hadn’t responded to anyone this past weekend. He had stayed in his bedroom, eventually turning his phone off when the calls got annoying.

Hearing his front door open, he sighed quietly. Of course she knew him well enough to know he’d have a spare key somewhere. Didn’t everybody? “I look like crap,” he mumbled in a warning voice, though he knew it was too quiet for her to hear, even in the silence of his house. Reaching over the side of the bed, he grabbed his pillow and curled up around it, burying half of his face against it. He knew he should call out to Dahlia and tell her where he was, but she’d find him eventually. He knew it wouldn’t take too long.

And he was right. In a short amount of time – she had probably looked for him on the lower level first – he heard her quiet steps coming up his curved stairway. Biting his lower lip, he fidgeted with his hat. Even when he and Dahlia had been together and they were just hanging out, he had always put a little bit of effort into his outfit. Looking bad wasn’t something he enjoyed, he liked dressing at least semi-nicely.

His door creaked quietly as it always had; even though the house had been new when he bought it, the doors had been slightly creaky, and he saw Dahlia step into his room with the one eye he had open, the one that wasn’t resting against his Coke pillow. He sat up as she gasped and looked down at himself, wondering why she was so startled. And then he remembered he didn’t exactly look like himself. It wasn’t just the sweats and the hoodie, he had dark circles under his eyes from sleeping so badly and he had dropped a few pounds. Since Ana had left he basically sat in his room and did nothing; he hardly ever wandered down to his kitchen to grab a bite to eat. It was summer, he had no classes and he had no job. He had rearranged the room so it wasn’t the same as when they had shared the bed and in a silly notion, he had considered going out and buying a new mattress, though he hadn’t left his house.

“What’s up?” he asked quietly, his eyes not quite meeting hers. He knew why she was here, or at least he had a pretty good guess. He had been incredibly anti-social, and not responding to calls or texts was just something he didn’t do. Since he was so accident prone, she probably assumed something had once again led him to be trapped in the hospital again or perhaps he had even been killed. It was bound to happen one day just because of his clumsiness. “Here” he muttered, sitting up straighter and kicking his pillow to the ground once again, sliding his body to one side of the bed so she’d have somewhere to sit. It was unlikely she’d find him like this and then be like “Oh, you’re alive. Bye!” A tiny smile crossed his face as she sat down and he sighed when she questioned his current state of being. “Ana left,” he said simply, his voice cracking slightly. “I, uh, well, she didn’t think I was really getting any better -” by that he meant his mental state since the wreck and he was fairly sure Day would understand. “-so she said I needed to focus on getting myself better and we couldn’t, couldn’t be together right now.” He had been staring at his hands as he spoke, picking at the edge of one of the sheets on the bed. “She said a, a break. But whatever. It still sucks.

word count; 789
wearing; here
notes; not as long as yours, but it's okay

[dahliaanderson]

So now I come to you
WITH OPEN ARMS
nothing to hide
BELIEVE WHAT I SAY

The innocence that radiated from his sweet face only made her feel even more shocked. Dahlia had never seen him so horribly kept, with his dark black bags under his eyes and such a horrible sadness in his face that made her own heart feel like it fell, too. As if what he felt she did, too. It was all unlike him to be so unkempt, so completely unlike himself. It hurt to look at. Not only that, but his frailness was evident. He looked like he was starving himself, as it would help with whatever his problem was. Though even then it would never be all that hard to guess. He didn’t even seem to care. About anything. His wardrobe was always somehow nice in a way, never the ‘not caring’ feel of sweatpants. His hair all in a disarray and still fresh-out-of-bed-in-the-morning, though it was already three or four in the afternoon. But the way he looked…as if he had lost everyone and everything.

The sweet words he spoke could only make her pity worsen, but she had to smile just a tiny grin at the fact that he was still alive, though it was pretty frail. There was no life in his eyes, none of the usual happiness or that joking matter that always seemed to have it’s own habitat the deep chocolate depths. The same ones that always seemed to soak up her heart with happiness. But for once they didn’t do this for him. For once they didn’t give her that sense of home. That sense that she belonged right there. It had always been something she loved to feel, too. All warm and comfortable… “I don’t really know. You tell me.” The tone that was used to say these words were kind and gentle, with the worry that she was feeling evident. Her blue-green eyes, like the color of the ocean, swept over his face, looking for the Jason she knew and loved.

Sitting down when he invited her to, she sat on the other side of the bed and sat Indian style, looking at him and not needing to say anything about what her eyes were asking. Sympathy washed over her at his tortured tone, and she scooted over to sit closer and put an arm around him. She had no idea how many times she had comforted him lately. The poor man had been going through a lot lately. With, of course, his surgeries, then having to have yet another one. If that wasn’t bad enough just having to have one, it had been one of his greatest fears as well. And now, he had to lose his girlfriend, someone he loved. How much she knew about that feeling.

It surprised her when she felt a little angry. There Ana was, holding his heart and just deciding to stab it by leaving him. And just when he needed it the most, too. It was now that he needed her comfort, her love. But there she was-moving out and just leaving him so then he could try and put himself together by himself. In her own opinion, that sounded like something even harder to do. Ana was so lucky. She had Jason. She got to kiss him, to hug him, and she just walked away… Day had to feel like that was wrong. That it was so wrong she really just wanted to go and yell at her. Ana had to see how hard this was for him-didn’t she?

Turning her torso toward him, she knew how he felt. She knew more than what he felt. She knew how it felt to not see the one you love, to not be by their side frequently; to be where you wanted to be. It hurt-bad. And it hurt her to see him like that. Of course that was because she loved him. Because there was nothing more that she loved besides him. He was the one that she always looked forward to seeing. The one that always could make her smile. And even in this state he was in, she still loved him. It didn’t really matter that he looked horrible. It didn’t matter that he was so sad and horribly depressed. None of the fact that he was completely different from the Jason that she knew. No matter what, in whatever situation he was in, she would always love him. Though the thin and thick. Though the horrible fear and sadness of what he was going through.

She would love him if the earth was dying and it was his fault. Because love is something you have no choice it. You fall in that deep hole of deep love, and those sheer, soft walls of it is something you can’t get out of. Nor do you ever want to with all of the wonderful things that lye with it. All of it didn’t matter to her at that moment. “Jason…“ She wanted to tell him how she felt. She wanted him to know what she felt in every day. All she had to say were three words, she wanted him to know. All this time with him not knowing, not seeing that she couldn’t really live without him. She couldn’t do it any more. She couldn’t have him hurt, couldn’t have him be like this. And she couldn’t let him go on without knowing how she felt. All she did suddenly was lean in, and take in his dark chocolate eyes with her own as their lips met, and her own closed to see the light of day.

[/size]
----

[font=georgiaso here I am
WITH OPEN ARMS
hoping you'll see
WHAT YOUR LOVE MEANS TO ME

[/font][/center]

OOC;
Status; Done
Words; nine sixty two
Clothes; here!
Comments; hope this is OK! =DD it isn't too bad, i like the end. xD

[jason andrew irving]

once you love somebody
t h e r e ' s n o t u r n i n g b a c k
it can burn forever, it can haunt you, haunt you in the night

As she scooted towards him and rested her arm around him, he turned his face towards her and buried it against her shoulder like a little kid hiding from the world. His dark eyes closed as a few tears slid down his cheeks and he sniffed quietly, feeling awful. It seemed like when he lost Ana, he had lost everyone, but he still had a couple close friends here, Dahlia being one of them and this just seemed to prove it. Sure, he had got texts from his other friends, but none of them had called, none of them had showed up to see if he was still living. It was nice to know that even when he was completely destroyed, he still had one person he could turn to.

There had only been one other time he had felt this low, completely heartbroken, and even though he had two fantastic friends to turn to, he had fled, leaving all that behind. The only thing that had honestly held him here was the fact that he actually owned a house now, he didn’t just rent an apartment as he had before. That and the hope that Ana had really meant it when she said she didn’t want their relationship to be permanently over.

He sniffed again, pulling his face away from her shoulder and running his fingers across his eyes, drying them off. He didn’t pull away from her, just sat where he was, their bodies close as he looked down at his hands, fidgeting with them slightly. “Do you think I need to see a-a psychologist?” he mumbled, his voice hardly audible. It embarrassed him, he knew he wasn’t exactly the same as he had been before, but he didn’t think he was that bad. He hadn’t thought he was bad enough to pull away from his girlfriend’s hands running down his scars or bad enough to make her leave, but one thing had led into another and now she was gone, leaving him to debate whether he really wanted to possibly risk his career and go find mental help.

Shifting his body, he slid his legs out from under him and turned on his side to face Dahlia, his upper body weight balanced out on the hand that was beneath him. He hadn’t really realized how much weight he had lost until her eyes scanned over him and he sighed, looking down at his side. Even through the two layers of shirts he had on, he could see little bumps from where his ribs stuck out. He had always been skinny, but never really boney so he could see how this would surprise her, make her worry.

As she said his name, sort of letting it fade off, his eyes slid back up to her face, a little bit of curiosity behind the pain as his bushy eyebrows furrowed slightly and his head tilted slightly to the left, asking her without speaking. He had no idea what she was going to say, or even do for that matter, but something in her tone told him it was important. She did seem to know how to make him smile when he was stressed out just by saying something incredibly sweet, perhaps it would be something along those lines even though he doubted she'd be able to bring a smile to his face today. That was one of the many reasons she was his best friend; she knew him well enough and could bring a smile to his face. As she moved her face closer to his, his dark eyes looked into hers, still curious, not quite sure what would happen next.

For the first nanosecond of her lips against his, he was shocked, not quite sure what to do. Then, he just closed his eyes and kissed her back. He had no girlfriend, not right now. Ana had told him she didn’t think they could be a couple right now, so he wasn’t cheating on her by kissing Day. “Break” could imply Ana was done; maybe it was just her way of letting him down easy. Or, even if she did only want a temporary break, what if someone else came into the picture and she changed her mind, she wanted to be with him instead? He didn’t know, he wasn’t an expert in the relationship area. He had only had three real girlfriends in his entire twenty-two years, and only one of them lasting over a year. Through his explosion of thoughts, all he knew was that he was hurting and for some reason, this seemed to help. Not help, exactly, but erase his mind and hide the aching in his heart.

A small smile crossed his lips as they parted against Dahlia’s, his tongue slipping into her mouth. He wasn’t thinking clearly, or at least not in the way he usually thought as he moved his body closer to hers, nearly touching as one of his arms slipped around her waist and pulled her the rest of the way against him. His hand slid down her hip and then back up, his fingertips slipping between the layers of her shirts, underneath of the brown, long sleeved top. Slowly, his other hand made it’s way to her waist and he sunk completely down to the bed, bringing her down beside him. He wasn’t sure what had come over him, but his hands slid around to the small of her back, still beneath her long sleeved top, and pulled her snuggly against him as he continued to kiss her, a shiver running up his spine.

word count; 936
wearing; here

[dahliaanderson]

So now I come to you
WITH OPEN ARMS
nothing to hide
BELIEVE WHAT I SAY

When his face pressed on her shoulder, Day slid her arms around him in a hug, one of those motherly hugs that everyone loved. She felt after a moment the small tears that ran through her light over-layer shirt. Leaning her head down, she rested her cheek on his short, soft curls and brought up her had that wasn’t around his shoulders to put her hand on the side of his face to stroke the hair. It was a pose that really made her feel needed. Like one of those things were he really needed her to be there, wanted her to sit next to him and hold him right there. And honestly, she would love to. She would sit there and hold him there forever.

Day was surprised at first at his question, but still with her cheek resting on top of his head she answered, “Jason, I just think that you need to come to the terms that you can’t change.” Moving her head so that her chin was now on top, she looked out the window with a thoughtful look on her face as she explained what she had said, “You’ve been through a lot in a short time. Being in the car accident really scared you, and everyone can see why.” Kissing the top of his head then in a very sweet and motherly kind of way, she continued to stroke his hair, “And then you had to face another one of your fears; having surgery. And I know that was really hard for you.” For the moment, she knew that all she was really doing was stating the facts tat she knew. She was still trying to find a way to shape her words in a way that would really be easy to understand.

Bringing his face to look at her own by sliding her hand down his face to his chin and pulling up, she looked him right in the eye with a sincere and understanding expression, and a gentle and sweet voice to go with it, “You can’t change what happened to you Jason. No matter what you do, all of your scars; on the outside and on the inside, they will still be there. But your inside ones you can heal. It’s that that you are having trouble with. You can’t let them go.” She hoped that he understood what he meant, she hoped that he would see how she meant for these words to mean something. Because they did. The accident had changed Jason, because he was now scared of all of the things that had happened to him. He had faced his fears before, but now he had the horrible memories of them that he couldn’t ignore. It was that that made him go a little ‘crazy’.

Really all he was was worried, and a little self conscious of his scars. To Day, though, they seemed like a symbol that he was a fighter. He tried all that he could to stay alive. He fought his way through death and pain-he wasn’t one to give up. He would fight and brawl until the very end. Because that was that Jason that Day knew. That was they guy that had always been there-that was what he was. He was a sweet, gentle, headstrong and passionate person who would do all he could to help people. It was helping himself that he was bad at.

She really tried not to look at the bumps along his side that were his ribs. It scared her to think that he was starving himself. That he was really that sad, that horrified that he would give up. That was the Jason that she didn’t know. The one that would give up and lay in bed. The one that would hide from everyone else. It was that that scared her, it was that Jason she didn’t like. But it was still Jason-the one she loved. The one that she knew would be there for her as she would be for him. She hated seeing him like this, it just wasn’t the Jason she really knew.

His curiosity made her want to smile, but she couldn’t find the words to say. How did you tell someone you love them, to the full extent? Yes, ‘I love you’ seemed to work, but she just couldn’t bring them to her lips. They parted, but they just didn’t move, nor did her tongue to make some kind of sound to make the words that she wanted so desperately to say. It never came though, but the kiss that started sort of said a lot. To her it did, though. It was surprising to her though-when he kissed her back.

It felt so good. To have his hands run down her back gave her a slight chill, but it felt so great she couldn’t pull away. It only surprised her more when he pulled her close, threading his hand in between her tops. She could almost feel his smile as his lips parted to slip out his tongue. It was far too late for her to object-and much to far for her to not want to. Her own hands gently went around his neck, and she fell back down on top of him, making sure she didn’t put too much pressure on him. He seemed so delicate right then, and it seemed even more evident as she slightly felt his ribs against her own as her body was pressed against his. Sighing a little, she smiled as she continued to kiss him, having no clue-or even caring at all-where this would go.

All she knew right then was that she was where she wanted to be. Where she had dreamed of being with his large, warm hand on her arch of her back, with his body so close to her own. This was the place she had always hoped to be, with his lips drawn to her and moving with hers’ in a fashion that could only mean it felt good for him too. Her hands slid to his cheeks and she held him there against her face and stroked his cheek as she still kissed him, pausing only for moments to breath. It felt so good to be there-and her dreams had never really even been this good. Smiling, she slid her hands down his sides, gently tracing the slightly puckered line where she knew his scar would be. And she didn’t care-she almost liked it, because it reminded her of the real Jason she knew. The fighter. The one she loved. And it was him that she was kissing then, not the beaten down person she had seen. This was the Jason she loved, the one she would always love.

[/size]
----

[font=georgiaso here I am
WITH OPEN ARMS
hoping you'll see
WHAT YOUR LOVE MEANS TO ME

[/font][/center]

OOC;
Status; Done
Words; one one five eight
Clothes; here!
Comments; not too bad! =]

[jason andrew irving]

once you love somebody
t h e r e ' s n o t u r n i n g b a c k
it can burn forever, it can haunt you, haunt you in the night

His jaw tightened slightly when she said everyone could see why he was so terrorized by the wreck. That fear made him feel so helpless, so weak and it was one that he seemed to keep feeding by avoiding that intersection at all costs. When she mentioned the surgery, a chill ran up his spine as the image from his nightmares flooded into his mind. Of course he had no idea what the real operating room had looked like, but the version his mind made up seemed to be what he associated with it and it wasn’t a place he ever wanted to be. The room was completely shiny, silver, with nothing in it but a single table, a too-clean silver just like the rest of the room. And against his bare flesh it was freezing. None of that was all too welcoming, but the most vivid part was the figure in white towering over him, holding a small blade in their hand and the way it moved down to his side in slow motion, sending an icy shock through his body when it finally touched him, jolting him out of his sleep.

As she pulled his chin up, he tried to avoid her eyes, feeling ashamed, but to no avail. Her sweet, understanding words seemed to make perfect sense, even though he didn’t exactly want to admit it. Finally, he nodded his head and sighed. She always knew what to say and when. He knew she was someone he could always turn to when he needed it, even though he didn’t necessarily enjoy talking about his problems. It wasn’t just because he was a guy and guys didn’t do that kind of thing, that was only part of it. The way he always saw it, even his closest friends had their own problems, sure, he’d help them, but they didn’t need to be weighed down with his issues, especially when they were as ridiculous as they were currently.

He’d be lying if he said he had seen the kiss coming, it had taken him completely by surprise. Even when the two had kissed in their relationship, he had never kissed her like this, in his lusting, wanting way. She seemed to be enjoying it, though, as her hands slid around his neck and she carefully laid her body on top of his. He could feel the way her lips slightly curved upwards and his mocked their movements, his small smile growing slightly.

Completely caught up in the heat of the moment, Jason wasn’t really thinking as his hands slid up her back, her outer shirt sliding up with them. He ran his hands around to her stomach, pressing them in between their bodies and working her shirt up from there, breaking his lips from her only for a brief moment to pull the long sleeved sweater over her head and drop it on the floor beside them. If he had taken the time to think about it, he would have felt awful, bringing her into his heartache like this, but his mind wasn’t where it usually was; for once, it was where a typical twenty-two year old man’s mind would be in a situation like this, focused on the sex.

For a brief moment, Ana’s face flashed into his mind and he felt a shock go through his heart. Instead of making him feel guilty or think twice about what he was doing, it did the opposite, his hands running through her red hair and his kiss growing in intensity. As her hands brushed against his cheeks, a lustful sigh slid from him, the smile on his lips growing a little more. It must have been something Ana had done to him one of the times when she was laying on top of him since he was already becoming aroused. His fingers slid out of her strands and ran down to her lower back again, beneath the hem of her tank top, sliding up not to take it off, but to undo the clasp on her bra. Somehow he managed to work it off of her without removing her looser, white top and let it meet her other shirt on the floor. His hands slid in between their bodies, running along her stomach before once again going to her back.

His body stiffened slightly as her fingers traced along his scars, sending goose bumps clattering along his body. It wasn’t that it hurt or anything, he just didn’t like it when he was reminded that they were there. He thought they were disgusting, a reminder of the awful pain he had been through and all of the suffering, and not just his. Seeing him in pain had caused others to suffer as well, something he wasn’t all too proud of. His hands slid to hers and wrapped around them gently, shifting their track away from the two lines along his side. Once her fingers were off of his scars, he fingered the zipper along his black hoodie, sliding it all the way down and shrugging his way out of the sweater, leaving it beneath his body. With a layer of clothing off, his ribs were even more pronounced, though in all reality they weren’t nearly as bad as they could be.

word count; 882
wearing; here
notes; it ends kind of abruptly, but i wasn't
really sure what else to do with it...

[ana isabel bailey]

Her eyes with an impossibly dark stare, Annie watched in disgust as Eligio and her mother slithered about the kitchen. He would kiss her cheek and she'd giggle, giggle!, presumably from the tickle of his thick mustache, which did indeed tickle, though for Annie that had never been a turn on. It was not so much her mother and her lover that bothered Anabel Bailey, however, though she had the suspicion that if she wasn't sitting there nibbling on a piece of Catalan tomato bread they'd be half naked and warming up the cold granite counter-top. No, Ana was contemplating chucking the piece of bread at Eligio's head because she missed being that way. Not with him, of course, but with Jason. Even though Ana was the better cook of the two of them, he'd always helped with making salad or whatever, and at least once they'd... well, their dinner had ended up burning, that was all she would say. But in general they'd been a categorically disgusting couple, laughing and kissing like that over something so domestic. He was the only one to ever make her quite like that. Out of every boy she'd ever dated he was the only one not to take and take and take but to actually give her something in return. But as it turned out, happiness didn't have much of a shelf life. Love on the other hand was stocked like a well-staffed grocery store.

The sensation of wanting to throw her guts up was getting too strong to be in their vicinity any longer. She knew they weren't doing it on purpose, but fact was they were certainly not helping her lonely little heart. Hastily pushing back the stool she was sitting on and rushing out of the room leaving an untouched glass of wine and a piece of bread with a single bite taken out of it, she padded through the living room and into the tiny little room that she'd slept in since they'd moved here when she was thirteen. Sitting in the bed and curling her legs up to her with her back to the wall she set her head on the tops of her knees. She had only stopped crying in the last twenty-four hours and now that she had it was like she couldn't anymore. She just felt… dead. Dead and really very lonely inside. Not that her mother and Eligio, who strangely didn't seem to leave the house all of the sudden, were bad company or anything, they just weren't the company she wanted to be in. Dropping her forehead onto her knees so she was staring at her black skinny jeans she let out a deep sigh. Now that it was all said and done she didn't really want to be selfless anymore. She wanted her Jason back, craziness and all.

She heard the white door open and then she heard her name in a warm deep bass. What on earth was Eligio doing in her room? Slowly lifting her head she looked at him, one pale eyebrow raised in a way he'd always said was just like her mother's. He didn't make a joke like he usually did to start a conversation. Instead he walked across the room, a matter of two steps for him considering the small width of the room, and sat on her pretty little pink rosebud stitched quilt. Her mother had left the room exactly the same way as when Ana had moved into her quad at the U. Her poster of the Backstreet Boys was still on the wall and the economics book she'd spilled a pitcher of water on senior year and been forced to pay for was still sitting on her tiny little desk beside her old laptop. Briefly, she wondered if her diary was still in the bottom of her closet.

She stopped this careful, curious examination of the bedroom she'd slept in for five years when Eligio said something, "Dime, Querida, what happened?" Ana had been as tight lipped as a prisoner of war the last couple days. Anyone could deduce something had happened between her and Jason, but she'd given no details, not even to her mother. Saying it would mean it was real and this wasn't just some odd homecoming. And yet it was the buff man sitting on her bed that she ended up curling closer to and telling all, her face buried against his strong chest and her tear ducts once again functioning. These weren't the heaving sobs of three days ago, but they were certainly not delicate little tear drops either. Finally she got to the point where she'd ended up on her mother's doorstep a bumbling mess and stopped as there was nothing more to tell. "You are doing the wrong thing to block him out. I was left. You can't do that to a man, unless of course you want him to end up like me," his look was serious, though a tiny smile did quiver over his lips as he acknowledged his lifestyle. It took her a moment to process what he'd just said before finally speaking, "You were left?" He nodded, "It hurt me to the point I didn't want to love anymore. You are much too young for that, and so is your novio. I think you should try and see him and at least work things out to the point you two can see each other." The blond stared at her father figure wondering if he was right before nodding her head and reaching for her phone. r u home? she typed and hit send as Eligio gave her a fatherly smile and left the room.

She didn't wait for a reply, already lacing up a pair of converse and pulling a matching grey beanie onto her head to hide her greasy roots. Her hair had actually fallen off her priority list in the last couple days. Checking her red LG again there was still nothing. Picking up the keys to her car she twirled them around her finger and walked to the door to her bedroom, pulling it back and walking the few steps to the front door, spotting her mother and Eligio snuggled together on the couch. He really was a very funny man she decided as she walked out the door. Jason would probably text her one way or the other on the way there, and if not it wasn't like she'd given her key back. She had left a few things she now wanted in her haste to leave the other night, namely a necklace that had belonged to her mother, so she could sneak up and get those things at least.

She hopped in her Cobalt Coupe and backed away from her mother's duplex, driving a bit under the speed limit, hoping he would text her back. But as she parked her car on the curb of the house they had shared and checked her phone again for a message she found nothing. With a shrug she got out of the car and headed for the driveway, noting a familiar car in the driveway, but she couldn't place who it belonged to. Maybe one of his guy friends had come over and she'd find them watching sports or something. Sliding her key in the lock the door gave way and opened into a dark and empty foyer. She couldn't hear a TV so apparently it was not sports night. Looking up around the vaulted ceiling she noted a bit of light upstairs and took a few steps to the slightly spiraled staircase, hearing nothing.

Then there was the moan of a bed spring and she knew where she could find her boyfriend, she still considered him such, probably reading or something. Reaching the top step she began walking that way, still unable to see the bed from where she stood, finally speaking, "Jason? Are you up h--" Her voice faded to nothingness as she reached the doorway and stared at her boyfriend. Well so much for her concern he was as lonely as she was. Apparently Anabel was an easily replaceable commodity, a fact she'd always known, but never thought held true with Jason. Jason who she'd always believed was safe and would never hurt her the way her father had done to her mother. Jason who she'd believed she could really truly trust with her heart even in her absence. And now here he was the same level of scum her father was with a topless red head straddling him and making him moan. A long whimper escaped her and she reached behind her, feeling the neutral painted drywall behind her and then trying the dresser to keep herself upright as she continued to stare at what she'd walked in on. She felt like a voyeur, unable to stop staring. The thing that finally broke her stare that for perhaps the first time was not hiding everything she felt was the face of the red head turning to face her. Groping the dresser she took a half step back, her back hitting the wall as a wail came from her lips, a wail that turned into a harsh sob as her legs turned to jello and her butt slid to the floor. She tried to move, get up and get out of there before she heard a word from the either of them, and yet she felt paralyzed.

words, 1580. I do believe that is my longest yet.
wearing, here
lyrics, hinder
pictures, avrilmidia

[jason andrew irving]

once you love somebody
t h e r e ' s n o t u r n i n g b a c k
it can burn forever, it can haunt you, haunt you in the night

The aching feeling in his heart was beginning to return, Dahlia’s form on top of him not enough to drown it out anymore. Once again his fingers slid up under her shirt, sliding off her final top layer and leaving her topless. A quiet groan slipped from his throat as he could feel himself becoming more aroused, his fingers now working the button on her jeans. He couldn't exactly get them off very easily with her on top of him, but he slid down the zipper before his hands traced up her sides, a lustful moan slipping from him as he did.

Hearing a muffled sob, horror filled his veins. There was only one person who could get into his house now; Dahlia had used his hidden key. What Ana was doing here was beyond him. He had truly believed he hadn’t been cheating on her, when she said they could no longer be a couple, he had taken that as they were, well, no longer a couple. Even though he had no intentions of seeing someone else, the simple, seemingly harmless kiss had turned into this, him tearing her apart even more. "Fuck," he whispered, ironically enough, using language he hardly ever did. His fingers dropped away from Dahlia's body as he realized what he was doing; using her only to get rid of his pain. He wiggled his skinny body out from underneath of his best friend and stood up slowly, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. Opening his top dresser drawer, he pulled out a small box and pulled out her ring. There was no way she’d want to marry him now, not after this.

Shoving it in the pocket of his sweatpants, he headed out into the hallway, an acidic taste in his mouth as he crouched down next to Ana, tears brimming in his eyes. He wanted to touch her, to comfort her, but he assumed that would be the last thing she wanted. Giving up, he sunk to the ground beside her and wrapped his arms around her, feeling like the scum of the earth. He expected her to scream at him and claw her way out of his hold; that’s probably what he’d do if he was in her shoes, but he held her close for as long as he could, tears splashing down his cheeks. “I’m such an idiot…” he mumbled, assuming that his words wouldn’t be picked up by either one of the girls. Looking first at Ana, then up to Dahlia, he smacked the back of his head against the wall. “I’m so sorry,” he said quietly, his eyes scanning back and forth between his lover and his best friend. “To both of you.”

Finally, he let Ana go, feeling like his heart was no longer broken, but instead there was nothing left to it. The pieces it had been left in were now swirling around in some black hole that now occupied his chest, a numb, cold feeling spreading through his body. Heading blindly towards his stairway, he was mentally screaming at himself, asking what had led him to even go that far with his best friend. He had been using her to get rid of his own pain; he hadn’t been kissing her back because he loved her, like she had been, but because it had made him forget, for that short amount of time, the pain he had been in. Now his pain had been doubled all because of his own stupidity.

He reached the first step as he slid his hands across his eyes, wiping the hurt, angry tears away as he headed down the steps. Stairs weren’t the best invention for the uncoordinated, especially when the uncoordinated wasn’t paying attention. Somehow, he managed to miss the second step in his numbness and he pitched forward, throwing his left arm out to catch himself. A gasp of pain escaped him as his palm caught the entire force of his body and he pulled it against to his body out of reflex, tumbling down a few more steps before finally stopping himself by throwing out his other hand, the ring in his pocket clattering down the rest of the hardwood steps. Sitting on the stairs, he clutched his left wrist, grimacing as he moved it. It was already beginning to swell and discolor, but he didn’t care in the slightest. It was nothing, nothing at all compared to what he was feeling internally, in fact, it was probably less than he deserved. He deserved to break his neck as he tumbled down the stairs. He felt like an ass, like he should just curl up and die. The world would be better without cheaters, he had always thought that way, and now he was basically one of them.

Standing up slowly, he ignored the aching he felt from the spots on his body he was sure were bruising and he made his way down the rest of his staircase, not realizing he had split his head open again, and picked up Ana’s ring at the bottom. He stood numbly at the bottom of the stairwell, ignoring the throbbing in his left wrist as he waited for Ana to find her way down. Even though she would probably throw it back in his face or toss it out her car window, he wanted her to have the ring. She could do what she wanted with it, but he just felt it would be better if she had it.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. He slid to the ground and curled his body up in a ball, quiet sobs now racking his frame. Ana would be a million times better without him. Even Dahlia would be. He knew Dahlia still loved him, her kiss had proven that point, but she needed somebody who wasn’t going to use her and lead her on, exactly as he had. And Ana needed someone who cared enough when she left that he was able to control his impulses, unlike him. He wished he had never come to Salt Lake, that he hadn’t been around to make his friends suffer. Unfortunately, the past was the past and it couldn’t be changed, he couldn’t erase the mistakes he had made in the last few hours.

word count; 1,051
wearing; here
notes; i changed it a little bit, mainly the first
paragraph to make it a bit...well, different?
i think it makes more sense like this.

[dahliaanderson]

So now I come to you
WITH OPEN ARMS
nothing to hide
BELIEVE WHAT I SAY

It was somehow shocking how someone who you had loved for so long finally started to love you again. But Dahlia knew deep down it was really what she wanted, not what was happening. It was just a very hopeful wish that it could possibly ever happen, but deep down she knew it wouldn’t. Only in her deepest dreams it would. Or ever even could. It just all felt so right as he caressed her and seemed to like kissing her. It was just so frustrating how horribly painful it was that he would never really love her. But all of that was pushed to the back of her mind, all of that was somewhere else, just to break her down on another day.

She was barely even aware of him sliding her clothes off of her back, all of her attention was on the hope that he could love her again. It was a very pathetic hope, and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it either. It really wasn’t until she heard a small voice that her mind finally hit the fact of what she was doing, and she looked over to see the girl she had envied so much standing in the doorway. Shame overtook her, and the pain of her own as she jumped off Jason and put on her sweater. All the while she couldn’t keep her eyes off of Anabel. The way Jason’s face looked said it all.

He had been using her. Using her to get over Ana, to ease his pain of losing her. The horror stabbed into her body, and her eyes looked at him to see that her hope had been stupid. He would never love her. He would never see her as anything. Just something that was always in love with him to the end that he couldn’t ever love. Her own jagged breath came out and guilt passed through her. It was her fault that Ana was hurt, and she knew just how she felt. She knew how it felt to see the one you love to love someone else.

Finally she spoke, and her voice didn’t even feel like her own, it felt dismal and distant, not coming from her mouth, “It’s my fault, Ana…he had nothing to do with it, don’t blame him…” And she ran out of the room, grabbing the rest of her clothes, ignoring Jason’s sorry. Because she was sick of sorrys. She was sick of being hurt and broken. And she was sick of loving someone that would never love her. It was a hopeless wish, something that would never come true and something that she should have never thought could possibly happen. It was her fault that Ana was feeling like this, and she knew exactly how that felt, and she had never wanted to put that agony on someone. And there she had…she’d hurt the one that her love really did love.

Here she was, stuck in this horrible love triangle that had unbreakable sides that she couldn’t escape. But she had to. She had to get over him. She had to go on with her life and understand that he wasn’t the one for her. Tears shed from her eyes, and the only life that seemed to be in her started to fade away. Leaping down the stairs and stumbling often, she ran out to her car and just sat in if for a while. She heard nothing inside, nor did anyone come of out of it. If only she could get over him. If only love was something you could change.

[/size]
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[font=georgiaso here I am
WITH OPEN ARMS
hoping you'll see
WHAT YOUR LOVE MEANS TO ME

[/font][/center]

OOC;
Status; Done
Words; six five oh --sorry it isn't long but i didn't really know what else to do.
Clothes; here!
Comments; omg, i am sooo sorry for the wait. it is inexcusable.

[ana isabel bailey]

Ana had always heard her mother say that infidelity felt like a knife pressing into the heart. She could still remember the night her father had come clean and her heart had broken then with her mother's. She had always pitied her mother, thought no worse thing could happen to a woman, to a person in general. Now though she begged to differ. There was a worse alternative to being told one's significant other had cheated on them with women they didn't know and it was before her: witnessing their unfaithfulness and with a girl that he knew, an ex even. If the knife her mother had felt was sharp this one was dull and pressed slowly causing more pain. All Anabel could do now as she sat there on the floor of the room she'd once shared with him was sob, tearful, painful, breathy gasps. The feeling that her heart was broken was not an easy one. The crack had started three days ago and now it had opened all the way. She'd guarded herself against a real serious relationship because she hadn't wanted this, and yet it was what she got.

Slowly her chest stopped convulsing and her pale fingers reached up to try and grasp the edge of the dresser. She had to get out of that room. She didn't want to hear a word from either of the people on the bed who just stared as she lost control of herself. Just as she thought she could get up and was about to lift her tiny body she heard the syrupy voice of Jason's scarlet woman. She stood to her feet, still leaning against the wall for support and looked across the room at the woman who at least had the decency to redress. The blue of Ana's eyes might as well have been black at she stared at her for a long moment, her body trembling and her eyes capable of putting Dahlia six feet under. "Don't speak to me, whore," she hissed, not censoring herself in the slightest. She would show no respect to a woman that had been willing to sleep with a man that she knew was taken. It was a low Annie had never sunk to and never would.

Using the wall for support she walked into the hallway to get away from them, keeping with it until she ran into the stairs. She'd have to have a death wish to go down them in her state. That feeling that she was paralyzed hadn't left. She felt weak and incapable of coordination. Debating her options she heard footsteps and turned her head to see Dahlia who passed her and sped down the stairs. Snorting, Ana perversely thought it rude not to finish what she had started. It wasn't healthy to leave a man in the lurch like that after all. She began to follow her down the stairs but as her foot hit the first stair her leg seemed to wobble and almost give way. Dropping back and onto her butt she dragged herself away from the stairs and with a relenting sigh she gave in to the fact that she couldn't do this now. Jason certainly wouldn't have the nerve to face her after what he'd done. She had nothing to worry about. Curling her legs up to her body she dropped her head and shut her eyes. This time tears welled and fell against the material as little gaspy breaths escaped her. She had never felt so low.

She sensed more than really noticed Jason's form crouched beside hers. She didn't relax like she used to but rather she tensed. She didn't want to hear what he had to say. He didn't get a trial to determine guilt and she would not relent. She didn't need to tell him what his infidelity meant to her. He knew her well enough to know she wasn't an emotional rag doll that could be tossed this way and that. He dropped next to her and put his arms around her before she could even comprehend what he was doing and she screeched, an angry, frustrated screech. She tried to pull away though she knew it was an impossible thing to do. Her one hundred pounds scarcely stood a chance to his one hundred sixty. She turned her face to his and met his dark eyes, still pulling against him, "Get away from me you bastard." Did he really think she wanted a hug? Taking another look at his tan face she realized he was crying. She stopped her forceful pulls away from him with a relenting sigh. She wasn't exactly letting him hold her, but she wasn't going to keep fighting him. She heard him mumble something about being an idiot, something she knew she probably wasn't supposed to hear. "Yeah," she told him bluntly, reaching up to wipe her eyes and sniffling, "You are." It wasn't the cheating that was incredibly stupid so much as the fact he was losing her. She wasn't the kind of girl you let go that easily, though many had. The fact that Jason was giving her up for a few cheap feels of his ex was foolish. She felt the wall rattle a bit against her back as he whacked his head against the wall. She let out a little sigh and took her eyes off the white door of the spare bedroom when he said he was sorry. "Jason," she whispered as she stared at him, tears blurring her vision and strangling her voice, "You know what this means to me." A sorry just wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

As soon as he let her go she stood to her feet and stared at the floor, "I'm gonna go get my things. The stuff I left behind. I, uh, I don't think I can come back now." She turned away, hugging herself as she walked back to the crime scene. As she walked into the room it was like she'd been hit by something. Staring at the bed she felt the pain of Jason's infidelity all over again. Placing her hands on her face she dragged them up over her eyes, wiping away her tears. Looking at it again she saw herself in the same intimate position with him. She could hear his moan, feel his desire, see the lust in his eyes as though he could have her again and again and never be satisfied. Of course she knew that that sort of intense appetite could be coaxed out of him by anyone, but when she was with him she'd felt like she was the only one that could. She leaned back against the wall again, sobs wracking her form and her fingers buried in the hair at the side of her head. What had she done to not be enough for him she didn't know. She had gone places with him she'd never gone for anyone else, didn't really want to go for anyone else. But more important than that he'd had her love, a love she'd never really shared, and he'd given it up. She felt so dirty, so worthless.

She came back out with a bag over her shoulder that she'd put the last of her things in and didn't see Jason anywhere on the second floor. Walking slowly down the stairs, she realized where he'd gone by the time she was half way down. He was crying, sobbing really, in the same way she had been and probably would as soon as she got back in her car. She didn't know whether he was sorry for what he'd done or sorry she'd caught him. Everything she thought she knew about him she was now so unsure about now. "Jason," she said to get his attention, "Jason, I'm going to go now." She was lingering and not really moving to go even though she said she was. For some reason she didn't feel like she could walk out right now with him on the floor crying like that. Regardless of what he had done to her a part of her still cared about him and she couldn't just leave.

word count, 1371
notes, eh, my original muse was kind of gone so it's not my best.

[jason andrew irving]

once you love somebody
t h e r e ' s n o t u r n i n g b a c k
it can burn forever, it can haunt you, haunt you in the night

Dahlia’s body recoiled from his and he watched her pull the sweater over her head, the hurt clear on her face. What had he done? He hadn’t just hurt Ana, he had hurt Dahlia, his best friend, too. He closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head side to side when he heard her tell Ana not to blame him. Even after he had completely torn her apart, she was still acting like he had nothing to do with it. His dark eyes opened, the contempt clear in them; but it wasn’t a disrespect for either one of the girls, the distaste was clearly meant for himself. He shook his head slowly as Ana snapped at Dahlia. “No Ana, it was my fault. She had nothing to do with it. I-I went way too far.”

Was he really that desperate to forget about Ana that he was willing to hurt his best friend who had done nothing but try to help him throughout all of the rough spots in his life? The answer was clear; yes. Yes he was. As Dahlia fled the room, ignoring his apology, it didn’t really surprise him. Sorry wasn’t enough for what he had done. Pushing himself off of a cliff or leaving Salt Lake so he wasn’t around to hurt either one of them ever again might be enough. Watching his best friend go down the stairs, he knew he would probably never see her again.

He watched his ex-girlfriend, as she very clearly was now, attempt the steps before sliding away from them. At least she wasn’t stupid enough to go down them when she’d fall and hurt herself. He approached her, feeling like he had to do something, though none of it would be good enough. He could hold onto her through the screeching and the pulling, wanting to beg her to stay, but unable to bring himself to say anything, but when she called him a bastard, his arms fell limp around her, no longer holding her against him and he sat there like that for a moment, his dark eyes losing all feeling and becoming blank. It was what he deserved, to say the least, but he hadn’t expected it to hurt nearly as bad as it did. He nodded his head in complete agreement when she acknowledged him calling himself an idiot, his eyes now showing utter hopelessness. He hated how he couldn’t hide his emotions, especially from someone he knew so well. At times it was a good thing, but now it just made him feel worse.

Her strangled whisper could have killed him and he couldn’t bring himself to look at her, feeling too ashamed. Tucking his knees against his chest, he sighed, the tears still overflowing from his eyes. His mouth moved, forming words, but the sound hardly came out, it was more of an almost inaudible gasping. “I know,” he hadn’t expected forgiveness, not from either one of them, but he had to apologize; what else could he do? Just letting it go wasn’t the best option for this.

Watching her stand, he didn’t bother to get up and he just nodded his head, closing his eyes. Even if she thought she could still live here with him, why would she want to?

He hadn’t even noticed her come down the stairs through his tears and the pounding in his wrist. Only when she said his name the second time did he pick his head up to look at her, hating himself more by the second. He struggled to get to his feet, his knees weak and he used only his right hand to push off of the ground. “W-wait,” he choked out, keeping his distance as he reached into his pocket, wincing as he bumped his wrist against his side and the pocket. If he hadn’t completely destroyed himself, it would hurt like hell. His already-swollen fingers grasped the small band and he pulled it out, his hand completely wrapped around it, hiding it from her view. He switched it from his left hand to his right and quickly dropped his left hand behind his back, his eyes on the ground as he stepped close enough only to hand it to her. “This-this is yours.” He dropped it into her hand, not letting his fingers touch hers.

As soon as it was out of his hand, he turned away from her, glancing up the stairs. He wanted to go curl up in a ball and die somewhere, but his bedroom wasn’t an option. He and Ana had made too much love up there for him to want to go there and he didn’t want to be in a room that reminded him all too clearly about what had just happened. Instead, he stumbled over to his leather couch and laid down, not caring about what had happened on it; he didn’t think he had enough energy to stand anymore. Tucking his knees up to his chest again and cradling his arm against his body, he completely lost it, absolutely loathing himself. The memories of the times he had shared with Ana flowed through his mind, from the day the met to when they started dating, the first time they kissed. He thought about the wreck and how she never seemed to leave his side, how the wreck was what convinced her to move in with him. He remembered the first time they had sex and how she could do things to him nobody else ever had or ever would be able to get him to do ever again. He recalled the first time he had met Ana’s mom and how he swore she hated him, but they had made it through okay. How he asked her for her daughter’s hand in marriage and all she asked was that he never hurt her daughter. He had promised he never would. So much for that. With one, stupid decision he made, it was all over.

word count; 1,000 even.
wearing; here